7 Types of Fabric Store
Solution #1: Reverse psychology. Two can play this game. If you really love it, act like it’s revolting and she’ll immediately declare it’s the only thing in the entire 24,000 sq. foot store worth buying.
Solution #2: Maybe she’s right and you ARE still trying to dress her in Little House On The Prairie outfits when she’s moved onto Steampunk/Goth. If you go with it, you might just discover some new patterns and fabrics and styles and notions you love too. Come on, stretch yourself! You won’t be the one wearing it…
Solution #1: Don’t. Ever. Take. This. Child. Within. A. 100. Mile. Radius. Of. A. Fabric. Store.
Solution #2: Bigfoot can be bribed with food. A bag of chips before you go in and a few packages of candy from the checkout aisle are a small price to pay. I’ll bet you never knew that’s why they stock them there!
Solution #1: Buy it all. Your stash has been shrinking lately anyway. Besides, there’s that great coupon expiring soon.
Solution #2: Make as many decisions as you can before you ever step a foot in the fabric store. Then give this child a time limit and let her decide.
#4: Poisonous Mushroom
Solution #1: Leave them Home Alone. Like Kevin, this child will outwit the bad guys.
Solution #2: Get this child engaged in a crafting hobby. Knitting, leather work, camouflage tent making, this child is at the perfect age for starting and loving a hobby. Your may even gain a sewing/crafting buddy!
Solution #1: Whatever you do, don’t let this child discover the costume section in the pattern books, it only adds fuel to her fire.
Solution #2: Compromise. Yes I’m sorry this is about the only solution for the Unicorn. At least once a year you are going to have to sew this child a costume composed of pink, sparkly, glittery, shiny, fluffy, furry goodness. The up side is for the entire rest of the year you have a reason to say no and you can sew her whatever YOU want.
Solution #1: Have you seen those child leashes some genius invented? Or a dog leash. Whatever it takes to keep them with you.
Solution #2: Confine this child to the cart. It’s for their safety as much as for your sanity. And so that they don’t morph into a Greek Siren whose “song” attracts the attention of everyone in the store, give them a scavenger hunt page (I’ve got a free printable for you today over at Skirt Fixation) and promise to reward them if they find everything.
Solution #1: Turn this child into an iPad zombie. Don’t feel bad about this, it’s worth it when the checkout lady says, “Wow! Your child is so well behaved! Most children are monsters when they come in here!”
Solution #2: Make sure this child is well fed, and has had a nap before you venture out. Keep a special reserve of toys that this child is only allowed to play with at the fabric store. Who knows, they might actually look forward to going!
Have you experienced this phenomenon too, or is it just me? Or are you one of those ladies behind me in the checkout line smirking as I fend off requests for candy, holding the baby upside down by one leg and clutching the back of the toddlers shirt with the other hand? Which type of fabric store creatures do you own? Leave a comment below!
No children were harmed in the making of this blog post. Sadly, the same cannot be said about fabric stores. Or the hairs of Audrey’s head.